Because I’ve mentioned the tricky season I’m in a few times on social media, I thought that it's probably time to fill everyone in!
First, back story…
March 7 through Mother’s Day are, according to Gilmore Girls, my “dark day”. 😉 March 7 is my birthday. It’s also the day I found out, rather shockingly, on my 19 birthday, in an “unexpected” situation, that I was pregnant in 2005. April 19, of 2015 we miscarried a baby. May 9, 2014 trauma from my first birth was triggered during my 6th birth. And on Mother’s Day in 2014, I was in the hospital where a high fever, infection, dehydration, and blood loss from childbirth shut off my pituitary & caused me to no longer produce milk for that baby who had been born 2 days prior.
So, while Spring is supposed to be a time of new life... for me it has often carried trauma & in one case, death. Every year gets better. I am believing for this trend to continue as I continue to heal. Every year, I trust that God will help me to be a reflection of the season, making all things new in me.
This year, Spring also brought me to a place where I finally said, “NO MORE!” I’ve been giving myself to my husband, my kids, my family, my church, my multiple businesses, and MORE for years. I’ve been this “I can do everything 110%” type of person for as long as I can remember. I’m an Enneagram 3... Achiever. I can be efficient, conquer all the things, win all the things, and be exactly the person you want me to be in the process! But. If you consider the 69.75 months that I’ve been pregnant and the 126 months (and counting) that I’ve been breastfeeding... I’ve literally given my body for 13 years straight. We should then add on the stress of 7 kids, growing 2 businesses from scratch, financial strain, a child on the autism spectrum, a demanding 6th kiddo, and the death of 5 relatives I was close to in the past few years. My body... my brain specifically... was FINISHED. Everything began to escalate at the end of March & I reached my limit the first week of April, as you can read about in my last post.
I cannot believe that I legitimately thought- oh, I’m sure it’s just some adrenal fatigue. I can fix that.
Turns out, the reason you feel like crap, is linked to that trauma... Fun! 😩
HA! I laugh, because I should have a LOT MORE things going on than exhaustion, depression, irritability, extreme emotions, inability to feel rested, and inability to lose weight. Of course there are many more symptoms I’m dealing with as well. Thank God I did things this whole last four years to help with my diet, plus my oil & supplement routine. So I’m pretty sure that is what kept my head above water for the past 4 years. If I hadn’t eaten well, cut out the foods that triggered me, taken my Lifelong Vitality, and used these oils... which helped improve things drastically, just never ALL the things... I would have been in a very different (read: worse) situation.
So. Here we are. I am continuing my clean eating, just am restricting myself to fewer “cheat days”. I have an intensive supplement routine going on right now, in addition to what I’ve already been doing, that is targeting those missing/non-absorbing nutrients, plus healing my pituitary. I am also utilizing our beautiful essential oils for emotions & systematic support like never before!
The big piece of this that I’m adjusting through, is self care. Right now, I am so grateful that we are in summer!! It gives me the opportunity to heal during this new season. Self care at this time looks like resting when my body says to rest. It’s saying no, when my gut feeling is no. It’s doing the things I truly want to do, not just the things I’m “supposed” to or that I feel obligated to do. Its sleeping alone, while my husband night-weans my toddler, with rocks under my pillow to ground me. It’s laughing at myself when I get the idea to muscle test for weird things, because I can’t decide if I need help to chill the heck out, or I actually just need help to focus and get this done.
Guys. I’m a hot mess right now & this hippie self-care thing I’m doing is SO, SO needed. I don’t know that this part is going to change much long-term, either. It’s a life change, really, and I’m just trying to remind myself that I deserve it. I’m worth it. My kids & husband deserve a mom who is well & whole… mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I’m still a go-getter. I’m still a high achiever. I’m just doing it in the way that works best for me, which may not be in the way everyone else does it!
I’m going to do my best to stay real on my social media & update you guys through this journey. You’ll see me around Facebook & Instagram, just as you have seen me this week surviving the end of the school year and beginning of summer. I’m not going anywhere... well, not unless I want to. 😉
I am a mommy of SEVEN (yes 7) beautiful kids! They are amazing, wonderful, hilarious & the greatest babies I could ask for! I am married to my best friend & high school sweetheart, Michael.
I love to craft. I love to decorate. I am passionate about natural living & natural birthing. Sometimes I write stuff. I plan parties like my life depended on it. My favorite color is pink. My house is definitely NOT taupe. I typically cannot keep plants alive. I am only allowed to have dogs as pets because all others tend to have the same end result as the plants. Luckily my track record with kids is pretty good! Also, I drink a lot of coffee. And I really like tacos.