What I Could Have Noticed

Last week, I was feeling brave. I ventured into the garage for "THE BOXES". These are not just any boxes, it's the {what seems like} 100 plastic bins full of out-of-season clothing. They are perfectly sorted by size and gender. There are boxes of shoes for girls and boys. There are keepsake boxes of things like that special shirt #1 wore every other day (so I could wash it) when he was 3, or the maternity shirt I wore for my 2 last weeks with #3 because I was so big I fit into nothing else. Good memories are in those boxes of onesies and sweet smelling baby clothes. They are some of my favorite memories, in fact.


What I was NOT expecting to find, however, was a pattern. We have been going through a rather difficult season lately with our 4 year old. I have some appointments in the next few weeks to pin-point exactly what is going on, but for now I just know we are dealing with tough stuff! When the words "disorder" are used, it's just plain hard, you know?!


So, back to the BOXES...
I went through the giant, stinky box of boy shoes. I rarely go into this box because for one, it's a pile of disorganized shoes, but also because of the smell. Boys have smelly feet. My special boy #3 had smelly feet as an infant! As I laid them all out in pairs, I began to notice the amount of "Converse" and "Crocs" that were piling up. I had a pair in EVERY size. My oldest didn't wear any of them. It was Mr. 4 Year Old! He will only wear these 2 kinds of shoes! Part of his issue is with clothing: certain pants *hurt* him, he won't wear socks because "they're stabbing" his feet, shirts can NOT have tags, and long sleeves are often an issue as well. You can imagine how fun winter is for us! Haha! In a perfect world, he would wear only a comfy, tagless t-shirt & his underwear 24-7! Unfortunately we can't go out of the house like that...


It just made me sad to see 4 years of this pattern. You might say I am reading too much into it, but for us it's been such a life-changing process we have entered in the past couple months that EVERYTHING is significant lately. All these things are popping up as we realize his whole life, all these little picky things, are related. In one way I feel sad, but I also am excited!


We didn't know how to help him before! But now, as I discover friends who have walked down this road (or roads similar), as I research, as we seek out help... I am finding new ways to connect with my son. I feel like we are getting a brand new relationship through all of this. I am learning so much about him that I was never able to see before!


I can not wait to learn more about him as we continue on this new journey!